Day Eight

Day Eight.

“Pick one day this week to devote an entire morning/afternoon/evening just to yourself. Keep your mind on you. Do something you really want to do.”

I have an absolute mother of a cold at the moment and I can’t think of anything worse than spending time by myself being miserable , so I am going to pick a day next week to go out.

But, should I push it aside? Will I actually do this if I don’t do it now? Maybe some time by myself will do me good. When I first read this, I said to my partner that I could take a trip to the beach. That would be nice. Having the sun out, having chips on the sand, thinking about the baby, thinking about the baby, thinking about the baby.

I am finding it very hard to believe that if I will spend time by myself that I won’t think of home. I do understand that this is something that I am going to have to try and do each week to make myself feel better, but I do feel very anxious about the whole idea.

I have recently spoken to my friend about joining her gym. That’ll be once a week, where I can spend time away from home and also start to feel good about my body and myself again. One step.

Maybe I could start small, and just walk around the block, or head to the park, sit and have a cup of tea for an hour. Then once I feel a bit more confident, I can work myself up and my goal is to go to the beach by myself. I think this is a good way for me to do this.  Taking baby steps so that I don’t push myself too far too soon.

I mean, the weather is supposed to be starting to look up, so no excuse for me not to go on a walk. No excuse to get out of the house to go to the park. And if it rains? No excuse to pop out and sit in a café for a cup of tea. No excuses!

Today’s step petrifies me. But it will stop petrifying me when I do it. And I will enjoy it. I will enjoy me time.

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