Day Eighteen

Day Eighteen.

“Wear something today that makes you feel confident and sexy. If you don’t have something, buy something. Even if it’s a pair of panties that no one else sees but you”.

Today I wore a green dress, with white flowers that came down to my knees and was quite tight. I have had this dress for a couple of years and I love it. Obviously I haven’t worn it for a while as it is quite figure hugging and I haven’t had the confidence to be seen in it. But, today I made myself wear it. And I went outside.

To be honest, I was quite nervous about wearing it out in public. I mean I still have wobbles that weren’t there before. I was trying my best to stand tall, hold my tummy in, cover my middle. But do you know what? No one looked. No one said anything. No one judged.

Why am I so self-conscious about the way that I look? The last post was about seeing my reflection and I wrote about seeing a confident mum. I need to be confident about how I look. I mean, I’m stuck with how I look so I should be happy about it.

Wearing this dress today was daunting, but I realised that it was OK. How I look is OK. It doesn’t matter what I wear, how I wear it, as long as I am happy.

I still have clothes that I am working towards fitting back in to. But there is no rush. I don’t hate the way I look, I think I am worried about how I look because I am not used to it. And it’s that I need to overcome.

My body changed because I had a baby. I made a life. I didn’t decide to be lazy or change any routine. I made a home. My body did amazing things and I really should be proud of it.

My partner tries to reassure me every day and I still don’t believe what he says.

But, after today, after that dress, I am starting to. I wore it all day. And I was happy.

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